M&B acquaints you with television actress Tuhinaa Vohrra – a strong, spirited woman who dealt with a difficult period in her life post-pregnancy and emerged as a confidant and dedicated mum to one-year-old Raayah

Solid character

Often, Tuhinaa has played characters that are a far cry from her actual personality. The Tuhinaa we encounter is sensible, pleasing and completely carefree. We meet at her apartment in Powai, Mumbai, where we are greeted by her mum and little daughter Raayah. Between make-up and hair dressing, Tuhinaa talks to us as though we are long-lost friends. “When I was in college, I wrote, directed and acted in a college festival play and I came first. A friend of mine pushed me to join a theatre group on the day of my birthday. I did a little bit of theatre and one of the directors of the play – Kamal Kishore – was doing a five-episode serial called Gunu Jha Ke Kaarnaame which was being shot in a village in UP. He asked me to assist him, but he couldn’t find an actor to play the  female lead. So he asked me to step in. At the time, I could barely speak Hindi as I was doing English theater. And, to top it all, I had to speak the dialect Mythili. I realised then that I didn’t know any Hindi at all. I started reading one page of Hindi aloud every day so I could get the language right,” she reminisces.

In a  nonchalant manner, she continues to talk about how her interest in pursuing acting further developed. “I think I really hated Delhi where I was staying. There was a lot of eve-teasing and rape incidents were common. It is not a good place for a single girl. When I started going to the university, I used to travel by the local buses and I used to come out crying every day. Finally, my mum asked me stay at the hostel. I decided to move to Mumbai. I love acting but it was also the desperation to get out of Delhi and move to a better place that influenced my decision. I studied Russian and became a translator. But every day, at five pm sharp, I would rush for my rehearsals after work. One day, my boss sat me down and asked me what it was that I actually wanted to do. It dawned on me that I wanted to act. So, I quit my job,” says Tuhinaa.

I ask her about her experience working on India’s most popular soap opera. “While I was working for Just Mohabbat, I was contacted for Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.  I thought, ‘Jis serial ka naam aisa hai woh dekhega kaun?’ But I was told that I was needed for a cameo that would last for two-three months. I thought that as I was doing a show on Sony and Zee, my face would be seen on Star Plus as well. I don’t think anybody thought it would become such a big success and my cameo would last that much longer. The only reason there was nothing left for me to do at the end was because the actor who played my husband quit the show and the woman who played my mum-in-law also quit. They didn’t know what track they could possibly write for me. So eventually there was nothing left to do,” she says candidly.

True romance
So, when did she decide to settle down to marriage? “I didn’t decide on my own. My mum believes that I told her to look for a guy. She put an advertisement in the newspaper. I was very upset. I went to my friend’s house and told her that my parents think I’m such a loser! But my friend said there was no harm in checking out a few guys. So I went ahead with it,” she says. When talks of marriage began doing the rounds, Tuhinaa was being approached from all sides with proposals. “People came up to me and said things like ‘Are you looking to get married? Please meet my friend also na’. Someone was like ‘This friend of mine has liked you for two years and asked me to introduce you’,” she reveals.

But fate brought Milan Gupta to her. “Some friends of mine arranged a meeting with Milan and when I met him I thought my dad would like him. We dated for about two years. I first told my parents that I’m okay with getting married. They met his parents and then when it was almost arranged, I told him I don’t want to get married. I’m sure he was not very happy but he was very understanding,” she affirms. Finally,  Tuhinaa took the plunge and married her sweetheart, Chef Milan Gupta, who was then working with the Orchid group.

The next journey of her life was about to begin. “I had always wanted to adopt. Milan loves kids but he didn’t want to see me bear pain. So we were both quite sure that we were going to adopt. But again fate had other plans. My dad passed away and I was going through an emotional phase. Maybe, it was my biological clock, but suddenly the maternal instincts popped up. After four years of marriage, I decided to have a baby of my own,” she admits.

“Since we had planned for it, it was there in the back of my mind. When I missed my period, I got the home pregnancy test and it was positive. I told my husband the good news and was about to go for my dance class when he stopped me. He was like ‘I don’t think you are supposed to dance’. ‘Are you crazy? I’ve taken a half day from my shoot for this dance class’, I protested. I was trying to be more gentle in my movements but it was a Bollywood class so how gentle can you be? I guess the pregnancy took a long time to sink in. I wasn’t  ready to quit work but my husband kept telling me that I must. I was like ‘kya ho jaayega. Jo hoga woh dekha jaayega baadme’. He was like ‘baadme kuch dekhne se faayda nahi hota hai’. But, my ob-gyn was very relaxed and supportive of my decisions,” says the mum with the stubborn streak!

What’s next?
Tuhinaa experienced nausea throughout her pregnancy. “I was sick a lot. I was told that this happens during the first three months. When I started my fourth month, I was still feeling sick. Again I was told thoda aage peechhe hota hai. When it got prolonged, I realised that some people are sick throughout. I used to suffer a lot of acidity. But, I loved being pregnant. I used to travel till Vasai. The road was far off and filled with potholes and then on the return it used to take up to three hours. During pregnancy, you are not supposed to control the urge if you want to pee. So, it’s not good to hold longer or you can get infections like a UTI.  That’s when I decided to quit. One day I had the on-shoot food as I was not carrying home food. I became very sick,” she shudders as she recalls the unpleasant experience.

The day of delivery also took its toll on the young mum. “I asked my ob-gyn if it was normal to get a contraction. She scolded me and I had to go to the hospital for a check-up. My in-laws and mum were around but I didn’t want them to get hyper so I decided to wait until my husband came home. Another thing that I read in books and that even my teacher at Lamaze class told me was that it would be best to avoid having your mother in the labour room. Mums are so nervous that they make the patient nervous when she is about to deliver and even doctors get distracted.

Apparently, the more you become nervous, the more the pain increases. If you are relaxed, you won’t feel much pain. The contraction is not connected to any nerves, it’s just to push out the baby. We get so fearful and it’s that tension that causes a different contraction, which is painful,” she explains, like a know-it-all.

She goes on, “I’m one of those who doesn’t like to trouble others, so I kept bearing the pain, then Milan came home and took me to the hospital. The junior doctor told me to get admitted. I questioned her. I told her that these contractions would go on for a while and, as my baby wouldn’t be popping out until the next day, I didn’t need to be in the hospital. My reasoning was simple – ‘Yahaan pe rahungi toh tense ho jaaungi’. She asked me if I was crazy enough to bear the pain alone at home. “I told her that either way I’d have to bear pain so I prefer to bear it at home. She threatened to call my doctor and I told her to go ahead. My doctor gave her permission as I live two buildings away from the hospital,” says Tuhinaa, proud to have had her way!