Delhi girl Harshita Gautam, 29, is a single mother. But if you are expecting a sob story out of this one, stop right there, for her’s, in her own words, is truly a very happy story... of life with four-year-old daughter Meera and everything in between. M&B caught up with the petite and ever optimistic Harshita, a leading lady in the true sense!

When one first learns that Harshita has separated from husband Maurya and lives alone with Meera in a rented apartment in Delhi, one half expects a story full of trials and tribulation; a shaky, quivering voice full of insecurity and fears or one full of arrogance, diffidence and vindictive hatred. What one hears instead is a soft, gentle and positive voice of confidence.

What one senses is utmost respect for her separated husband – the father of her child. What one sees is a petite, pretty and happy woman raising a delicately independent child, ready to face a bright future.

Here’s what Harshita has to say about her life...

The beginning...
I am a Spanish linguist by profession. I got married to Maurya in 2005 when I was 21 and he was 26. It was a love marriage but everything went smoothly. Our parents agreed and everything was great. When we decided to get married, Maurya got a job in the US. So, we advanced our marriage plans and soon moved to Washington DC where we started our lives together. It was great, since we spent a lot of quality time together away from family and by ourselves. Although Maurya had a very packed life, the best part about him is that he doesn’t run away from anything. Whenever he was there, he was there in totality. That quality kept me with him all the while.

Soon after marriage,  we started  having differences and things did not look as promising as they had seemed. However, I conceived and the morning I discovered that I was pregnant, Maurya was very excited. We both were happy and wanted to welcome Meera in our lives. 

When the stork came visiting...
I immediately visited a gynaec and was put on pre-natal vitamins. She gave me a list of dos and don’ts, which I followed to the T. It was just Maurya and me throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was beautiful. Our conflicts got overshadowed. We stopped talking about our issues. Maurya was very loving and supportive throughout. Since it is difficult to get house-help in the west, he would pitch in for most of the household work, which made things easier.

I was very active and happy all through my pregnancy. I enjoyed it completely! When I walked on the street, people would smile. People would buy me things, give me their seats... I was working, taking care of home, cooking, cleaning, shopping for groceries...

I had decided to continue to work. My office was in Maryland and we lived in DC, which was really far off. So, at that time, we shifted very close to my office to make the commute easier. Maurya let me use the car even for that short distance. I was working with T-Mobil, a very small set-up, and on learning about my pregnancy, every evening they would ask me what my craving was! My colleagues took very good care of me.

I enrolled for a pre-natal yoga class on weekends, where instructors used to take us through meditation. That’s how I connected with local mothers. I also did prenatal aerobics with the help of a DVD for about an hour and a half every morning. I would sleep every evening at nine, and wake up at eight the next day, so I had a good 11 hours of sleep! In office, if I would get sick, I would go to a vacant room, recline on a chair and put up my legs. So, often when my colleagues couldn’t see me around, they looked for a pair of dangling-in-the-air legs in the empty room!

Welcome Meera!
My mum came over from India 15 days before the due date and I also took a maternity leave at the same time. That was fun! It was the time that I bonded the most with my mother... All three of us would eat good food that she cooked, we played a lot of board games, went for walks... There was never a dull moment!

I went in to labour on November 21, 2007. We were playing Ludo and I suddenly realised that it’s time. So, we decided to go shopping for DVDs and magazines to entertain us till I was ready to deliver. Anyway, my bag, the car seat, everything was ready and we were raring to go! By the time we came back from the shopping, the pain had gotten really bad and I told Maurya that I couldn’t handle it.

I had always asked my doctor what labour pains felt like and she could never come up with an answer. All she said was, ‘You’ll know when it’s time!’ Needless to say, I could really experience it now!

At the hospital, the doctor who checked me said I hadn’t dilated enough. He sent us back home after giving me some medication, which was either a sleep-aid or relaxant! And, he gave me two of those! Now, American women are really big, and that was perhaps a standard dose, but I am of a small built and this was too strong for me. I started hallucinating! It was crazy. In fact, I have a completely washed out memory of those two hours. Back home, Maurya made a warm bath for me so I could relax, but I just couldn’t. The pain didn’t help. If you can concentrate on the pain, you can manage it. But for me, it had become deluded pain. It was really bad. So, I was rushed to the George Washington University Hospital again and I was admitted!

After a few hours, the pain was unbearable and the doctor suggested that I go in for an epidural. The syringe is usually very big and they almost put a whole tube inside. Family members usually freak out on seeing this, so the doctor sent my husband and mum away and asked me to hug him! As I put my arms around his waist, he injected into my spine. It is apparently very painful, but then during labour, you can’t really tell!

When Maurya entered my room again, he found me giggling. The pain was gone! He even asked the doctor if he’d put me on some sort of a drug! We were in a very basic room. My mum comes from a small town called Saharanpur, and has delivered her three kids on an operating table. So, when she saw the basic labour room, she was a little worried. The nurse was filling the forms while she asked me to push! As soon as they saw the hair follicles, mum started feeling nauseous! And when Meera’s head popped out, she fainted – so much for her own three deliveries! :). And then, the nurse pressed a bell, and some 10-odd people rushed in. They pressed some buttons and the room converted into a high tech OT. It was like a wonderland for us!

After nine months of joy and 26 hours of labour, Meera was in my arms. It was the most numbing and humbling moment of my life. I was speechless! This was it... new love!!!