It's a personal decision that no one else can make you take. But if pursuing a career is almost as important to you as being a great mum, M&B gets you expert help to help you think it through and do it right...

Words: Poornima Nair
Illustration: Ajay Paradkar
Visuals: Akshay Kulkarni

Life's tough. But you're tougher. Or so you always thought. As you crashed through the glass ceiling and took on the male-dominated world, you thought you had it all figured out. Work, family, party time, exercise, hobbies, everything had a logical place in your day. But then came along Junior, bringing with her a whole host of questions. Along with the ecstasy of giving birth, counting ten little toes and all the peripheral joys of motherhood, came the realisation that your life was never going to be the same again.
If you're wondering whether you'll be able to continue working for your old boss as well as this brand new, pint-sized one, here's some food for thought to help you consider the pros and cons...

If one goes by a recent survey conducted by Assocham's Social Development Foundation, then working parents are finding it increasingly difficult to spend 'quality' time with their children. Bindu Bhinde, co-founder of a daycare facility called The Little Company at Bandra, Mumbai, and mum to Simren, 6, and Kabeer, 12 months, defines quality time as time spent engaging in a fun activity with one's child.

MAKING TIME FOR TOGETHER TIME
“It can either be reading, playing together, going for a walk in the park or on the seashore. But you must be totally involved with your child. At times, when parents take the child to a park, they catch up with their friends, ignoring the child. This should not be the case. In a day, if you can spend one hour of 'quality' time with your kid, it's more than enough. Aashish and I ensure that we spend some quality time with our kids. At times when we are unable to do so, it immediately reflects in their behaviour which is a reminder for us,” she says. Her partner Amrita Singh, who is also a mother, agrees: “I consciously take time off if I need to be with my children at their school's annual performance, or when they are unwell or need to be taken to the doctor.”

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOUR CAREER VERSUS YOUR CHILD
There is the age-old argument that a working mother is incapable of bringing up a healthy and happy child, unlike a full-time mum. But are educated women, who have spent years building a successful career, willing to give up their job and stay at home to take up the sole responsibility of raising children? “I didn't believe it had to be a choice – my career or the children. I thought I could do both. It meant stretching myself, but I thought it's worth it,” says Shai Venkatraman, features editor with NDTV, Mumbai. “I have been working for the last 14 years and I enjoy it. It's an important part of me.” Shai has two daughters, Ayezel, 3, and Ayesha, 15 months. She relies on maids to take care of her children's needs while she is away. Her older daughter goes to daycare. “I consider daycare a great source of support. It ensures that Ayezel stays mentally occupied through the day. I wish there were more facilities like that. It's a good place and she loves it. I'm happy with my childcare arrangement. I live close to my office, so I can rush back home if my kids need me.”
Michelle Gonsalves, assistant manager at The Club, Mumbai, says that after she had Ninon, her husband Denzil did not want her to join work before six months. “But my mum and I convinced him otherwise. I also wanted Ninon to be independent. I have seen so many cases where the mothers complain about giving up their jobs to spend their whole life raising the child, only to find the child not being bothered once he's grown up. I didn't want that to happen with Ninon and me. I want to give my love to her but at the same time I want her to go to everybody and not just stick to me.” Michelle's mother looks after seven-month-old Ninon, while she goes to work. “I have a maid to assist my mother with the baby, so she doesn't have to manage on her own. She can nap, cook or do whatever she likes. I did not want my mother to look after the baby 24?7,” explains Michelle.